This post is for the young men and women who feel like they’ve somehow fallen behind.

They find themselves scrolling through their social media feeds, feeling a twinge of—they’re not even sure exactly what to call it. Jealousy? Insecurity? Agitation?

Whatever it is, it wells up inside when yet another Facebook friend posts a photo of the “sold” sign on the front lawn of the house he just bought. Or that Instagram feed highlights another set of shiny new keys.

Look, there’s nothing inherently wrong with buying a house, a car or most anything else. And there’s nothing inherently wrong with posting about it on the Internet (depending upon the underlying motivation to do so).

The problem comes when we make grown-up purchases we’re not financially ready to make, just because we want something badly. Or when we feel we must reach the same milestone everyone else seems to have achieved by our age. Or we simply allow purchase envy to lead to an unwise, emotional decision.

The home buying experience in particular has been widely romanticized, and it’s nothing new. For decades, buying a house has been considered a rite of passage—the defining component of the American Dream. It’s what our parents and grandparents worked for, and—this is the important part—saved for.

In many ways, we still have the dreams of our grandparents, but we’ve replaced savings with student loans, credit card debt and expectations of a more luxurious lifestyle than Granny and Grampy ever imagined.

We want it all, but many of us have lost the ability to wait, to save and to celebrate the milestones of our peers without succumbing to the pressure to make their decisions our decisions.

A slight change in perspective can go a long way.

You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor. (Exodus 20:17, NIV)

The Message puts it this way:

Don’t set your heart on anything that is your neighbor’s.

It’s ancient wisdom, but it’s still so relevant it’s almost scary.

When God gave that tenth commandment, He knew people would have the same struggles today as they did thousands of years ago. He knew then and He knows now, that once we set our hearts on something, our desires can have a frightening way of controlling us. In our covetousness, we head down a slippery slope of envy, hatred and all kinds of sin.

And let’s not be deceived—coveting our neighbor’s house, car or condo has consequences beyond the sin itself. For one thing, it can lead us to make really stupid financial decisions that come back to bite us later.

Again, let’s use the home buying process as an example. Financial expert Dave Ramsey—who advocates tackling money issues from a disciplined, biblical perspective—recommends paying cash for a home if at all possible. However, knowing most people will struggle to save up that kind of dough, he suggests paying a minimum of 10% down and only signing up for a 15-year, fixed-rate mortgage.

He’ll also tell prospective homebuyers to not even think about buying a house if they don’t have three to six months of savings in the bank to shield them in the event of a job loss or emergency (let’s call it a foreclosure prevention account).

That’s a lot of work. Is it really the best way to approach home ownership? You betcha. Is it the way all of those happy-looking Facebook friends are doing it? Not a chance.

It’s fun to post a smiling photo showing off a beautiful new home. It’s not as much fun to broadcast the details of that measly down payment or that pricey 30-year mortgage. Or the heart attack-inducing credit card statement that comes after making all of those “essential” purchases like brand new furniture and appliances.

I’m not saying everyone who buys a home is making an irresponsible financial decision. There are plenty of people out there who are diligently saving their money and delaying big purchases until they’re ready. And they should be congratulated.

But there are plenty of others making grown-up financial decisions without a grown-up perspective (or the budget to go with it). And that’s what I’d implore everyone else to remember when those feelings of envy or insecurity begin to rear their ugly heads.

If you’re one of the diligent savers paying off consumer debt, building an emergency fund and socking away cash for a hefty down payment, you’re doing the right thing! Log out of Facebook, focus on your own unique story and forget about what the rest of the crowd is doing.

Despite what our culture may say, it’s OK to postpone or even forego the American Dream. It’s not what defines you.

And whatever you decide to do next, know that you aren’t falling behind. In fact, you may actually be well ahead of the rest.