You’ve probably heard, “the borrower is slave to the lender,” from Proverbs 22:7. If you’ve ever been deep in debt, you know those words are true. And if you’ve ever been in debt to a friend or relative, you know just how uncomfortable that situation can be.

As someone who has personally experienced the awkward scenario of owing a large amount of money to a loved one, I’ve been thinking lately about ways to make the situation, well, less awkward.

This post isn’t really for people who owe money to Capital One, Sallie Mae or Bank of America, although I suppose the same principles could apply. It’s really for those who owe money to an individual they know personally.

It may be incredibly difficult now, but one day you will no longer be in debt. And when the debt is gone, you don’t want the relationship to disappear with it. So, here are a few thoughts on how to love your lender.

Take responsibility

It’s very easy to resent the person to whom you’re in debt. While it’s one thing to harbor a little ill will towards a credit card company getting rich off sky-high interest rates, it’s another matter entirely when you personally know your lender. Your resentment could damage or destroy an important relationship if you aren’t careful.

Look, I know it isn’t easy, but you have to remember that you agreed to this loan in the first place. Sure, you may regret it now, but that isn’t your lender’s fault. Accept responsibility for your own decision, and, if possible, focus on what the loan allowed you to do (like get a college education, a car or just keep a roof over your head during a tough time).

Keep your curiosity at bay, and don’t over-share

When you’re in debt to someone you know, there can be a natural inclination to take stock of that person’s spending habits and vice versa. For example, you may be scraping by, just barely managing to make your monthly payment. In the meantime, you hear that your lender, who is demanding quick repayment, is about to embark on an all-inclusive Caribbean cruise. And you might find yourself getting pretty angry.

Likewise, your lender may be a little too interested in your spending habits, wondering why you bought a new outfit or took a weekend trip when you’re still in debt. In both cases, it’s totally unhealthy and needs to stop.

Do your very best to stay out of your lender’s business, and don’t over-share about your own financial life. It can only lead to trouble.

Make regular payments, and don’t stop

When you know your lender, it’s especially important to establish a minimum monthly payment (if you can’t pay your debt all at once) and consistently pay it on time.

Just because you’re borrowing from a friend or relative doesn’t mean you can take a laid-back approach.

Your lender wants to know you’re serious about paying off what you owe. Make a plan and put it in writing, even if it’s just an email. Then stick to it. Set a minimum payment, but pay even more when you can. And of course, don’t stop until you’re finished.

Generally speaking, borrowing money from a loved one is a bad idea. It can (and often does) lead to heartache, anger and broken relationships. Do everything you can to avoid putting yourself in that kind of situation.

However, if you’ve already made the decision to accept a loan from a friend or family member, take heart. With a lot of determination and prayer, you’ll dig yourself out. And, with some love and perseverance, the relationship will still be in tact when all is said and done.